Whats With The Teeth
7/27/20264 min read
The 48-Hour Forecast: Bright Lights and Dim Prospects
The Midnight Grin
My satire has a way of creeping into the darkest rooms. As night fell on the ward, the terror of my medical prognosis was suddenly eclipsed by a new, more immediate concern: The Nurses’ Teeth.
In my state of heavy conviction—or was it sedation? (the weight of my "unworthiness" felt particularly heavy)—I became obsessed with my lack of oral hygiene. I lay there behind my beard, speaking through closed lips, terrified they’d see my mortal failings. Or was it molar failings?
Does anybody remember the Colgate ad about the ring of confidence? Well, I can't believe how many nurses have had work done on their teeth. I didn't know if it was an NHS perk or if they'd nipped over to Turkey for it. Either way, through my many years of alcohol abuse and smoking, my own oral care went out the window, leaving me with periodontitis.
The room had a peephole—a little window in the door so they could check if I was still breathing without "disturbing" me. But every time a face appeared at that glass, I wasn’t met with the dim light of the hallway. I was met with a phosphorescent, high-definition, supernatural glow.
A New Kind of Illumination
Who needs a bedside lamp when your healthcare providers have dental work that could guide a ship through a fog bank? Their pearly whites were so bright they didn't even need to flick the light switch. They were looking through the peephole to see if I had crossed over, and I was looking back, wondering if their toothpaste was enriched with plutonium.
I remember a few weird parallel parodies. One was being plunked into wheelchairs; the second was the situation with my beard being too long. The first time that happened was because the doctors needed a sterile environment to insert a Hickman line. The medical staff couldn't get much sense out of me at the time, so they asked my wife if there was a religious reason why my beard was so long and unkempt—if it was a Nazarite vow (Numbers 6:1–21) that had ended abruptly. Well, at least that was my excuse.
Moving on to my latest problem with the beard and how it became another point of contention with the medical profession: I was in a hospital called Daisy Hill, and I couldn't help thinking of the old adage pushing up daisies.
Back to the story: they must have tried three different masks on me, as I needed 100% oxygen at the time. The one they settled on had to have a totally airtight seal around my mouth and nostrils. They’d put it on, and ten minutes later, the alarm would start going off. They'd come back, realign it, and ten minutes later… beep, beep, beep.
After a sleepless night, I relented and complied with their request to have a beard trim. The first time this happened years ago, an overzealous nurse who didn't care for beards hacked at it with the little scissors you get in hospitals. So this time, I said I'd get one of my sons to trim it for me. I took the mask off and tried making a template to fit around the mouthpiece. Of course, the alarm went off, and I got told off.
After all the distress I caused during my last incarceration, I felt the need to "inject" a bit of humor into the predicament. When two of my sons came to visit me with my wife, I couldn't help myself: I did an impression of Darth Vader. It was the ideal opportunity—the mask, the heavy noise of the oxygen flow—too good to miss. The mask covered most of my face, so I beckoned my boys toward me, leaned over;
Glory and Victory
Now, I don't have any problem giving the glory to the Lord—well, maybe sometimes I try to keep a little bit for myself.
I'm reminded of the time a nurse I knew came to change my dressing. After looking at my notes, she exclaimed with amazement (and, yes, you guessed it, that shiny smile) that I was "like a commando." Her husband was a right rough-and-tumble type—a former Royal Marine and a rugby player to boot. Hearing that, my whole body started swelling up with pride, filling out the bed, until I remembered why I was still alive and gave the glory back to the Lord.
It’s like a few Christians I know who think they've been remarkably charitable and humble when they give 10% of the glory to God. But the victory belongs entirely to Him.
Proverbs 21:31
"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory belongs to the Lord."
The Hebrew Word for "Safety" (Teshu'ah) in Proverbs 21:31
Hebrew Term: תְּשׁוּעָה (Teshu'ah, Strong's #8668)
Primitive Root: יָשַׁע (Yasha) — meaning "to be open, wide, or free."
Literal Meaning: Active Rescue and Liberation
While the King James Version (KJV) translates teshu'ah as "safety," the word literally means rescue, deliverance, or liberation. The root verb yasha paints a visual picture: pulling someone out of a tight, crushing, or dangerous bind and bringing them into a wide-open space of freedom. Rather than describing a passive state of avoiding danger, it describes active intervention.
A Rich Spectrum of Meanings
Because the term implies actively saving someone in the midst of a crisis, biblical Hebrew uses it to describe:
Victory / Triumph: Winning an engagement or overcoming an opposing force.
Salvation: Total physical, national, or spiritual deliverance from ruin.
Help / Divine Rescue: Intervention when human strength and preparation reach their limit.
The Word Picture in Proverbs 21:31
In context, teshu'ah highlights a powerful contrast:
Human Effort: The horse (suws) represented the highest standard of ancient military power, technology, and strategic readiness. You can complete every tactical preparation possible.
Divine Outcome: The final breakthrough, rescue, and decisive victory (teshu'ah) rest entirely with Yahweh.
Modern translations that render the word as "victory" or "deliverance" capture the triumphant, action-oriented nature of the original Hebrew far more precisely than the passive idea of "safety."
I am learning, as Paul did, to find contentment in all situations and to praise God through them:
2 Corinthians 12:10
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
...Well, not too much, actually.
Doctrine Matters
Jeremiah 6:16
“Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.”
King James Version